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1. Backstreet boys i want it that way mall meme how to#
2. Backstreet boys i want it that way mall meme full#

Now, I think a small tangent is necessary to mention that I once worked at Barnes & Noble for two weeks. There's a Shell station about two miles down, you can't miss it." Zzzzzing. "It should be under Humor or maybe Photography.

Backstreet boys i want it that way mall meme how to#

"It's retangular shaped, and has a neon pink cover that says Fuck This Book on it," I told him like I was explaining how to perform surgery on the British Prime Minister's brain. I was immediately angered at being made to feel like a misbehaving middle schooler by someone who was quite possibly younger than me. I was suddenly made aware that what I said might have sounded like a prank ("Do you have Fuck This Book? Well you better go find it, that's the only proposition you're ever going to get!") or a deliberate time-waster ("Do you have Fuck This Book? No? How about Islam Ass A-Go-Go? Maggie LaTits Goes Ape At The Zoo?") or just guilty of containing an expletive said in too high a volume and too casual a tone. He stared at me like I'd asked if his balls were screwed on straight.

"Do you have Fuck This Book?" I asked a greasy-looking guy. The realization came crashing down that I'd have to verbally grapple with the melancholy twentysomethings and irritable part-time housewives at the Customer Service desk because, in some sort of cosmic joke, Barnes & Noble doesn't have those computer terminals randomly seeded around the store that tell you if the item you're looking for is in-store or not like Borders or, really, any establishment that fancies itself sane. Their Humor section consisted of a couple Far Side compilations and those stupid short, wide Garfield books. I assumed it didn't matter even though I originally saw Fuck This Book at a Borders, so I went to a Barnes & Noble in a mall today. I think there's about one in the whole frigging city. (That day.)įor reasons which may or may not have to do with desecrated Native American burial grounds and may or may not have to do with the exorbitant amount of collagen injections, The Borders Folk are magnetically repelled from setting up shop in Scottsdale. I shelved the book, bought something for someone else, and congratulated myself on being proactive against the evils of selfishness.

Backstreet boys i want it that way mall meme full#

I almost bought it, but not two hours before I had had a conversation with someone about how I have this bad habit of walking into the mall intent on buying gifts for people and walking out with bags full of things for myself. Since I don't really care for books or reading, I've been under the false assumption that Barnes & Noble and Borders were essentially the same thing.Īround Christmas I stumbled across Fuck This Book and was literally in tears in the bookstore. It seems like the same principle as Sea Monkeys in the '70s: they don't really do much of anything but people will watch them do nothing for hours. Seventy minutes will go by with no goals, just a bunch of people stealing the ball from each other. At least in baseball, something could happen with every pitch two times out of three the batter just stands there, but the point is that they MIGHT swing and that makes me sort of anxious every twenty-five seconds. However, being bombarded by the World Cup playoffs on (seemingly) every channel has made me reconsider. I mean, I get the draw of going to the stadium and eating a nasty hot dog and all that, but that's all lost when you're just sitting at home in a recliner. If you know me, you know I don't really understand the point of watching baseball on television, either. It's like reading a Dan Brown novel cover to cover or listening to a Jack Johnson album all the way through. I can't think of a more yawn-worthy thing to do with my time than watch those non-events smarmy Europeans call "soccer matches." Like so many things in life, they're not outright offensive, just so wretchedly boring that I can't imagine why anyone would willingly subject themselves to them. I want to make known my distaste for the World Cup, and really televised soccer in general. And it doesn't help that all that seems to be on is goddamn soccer.

I even find myself missing That UPN Shitstorm (Tyra's representatives have been in touch to ask that I edit and confirm that yes, I'm talking about America's Next Top Model Charity Case).